Actual
spousal conversation….
Me:
“…..so if you can get home for 6, I will have the baby in bed and we can be up
on the ski hill by 7:00.”
Perfect
husband: “OK, I can do that, I think my ski socks are still in my boots. Are
you in the office tomorrow?”
Me: “No,
I have to get a mammogram.”
PH:
“Why?”
Me: “So
we can go skiing.”
PH:
“Oh.”
PH: “
….Wait, what?”
Me: “Mom
won’t babysit unless I get a mammogram.”
PH:
(silently wonders what the hell he married into).
You need
some context for the above conversation. First, we are not good skiers. My husband
says he finds skiing very tiring from “all the trying not to die”. I prefer to
ski easy runs looking stylish, and save challenging runs for family nights,
when I have to go slowly (for all the tiny knee high wonders that are
learning). I am very understanding of their limitations. In short, we need all
the practice we can get if we are ever going to be able to teach our kid how to
ski. Or follow him down the hill after the little beggar learns on his own.
Second,
my mother is Judy Caldwell. The odds of me missing a mammogram are about the
same as me making the Russian gymnastics team. That being said, with work, and
the baby, and the general business of life, it did take me four months to book
a mammogram. Hence the babysitting blackmail.
I booked
my mammogram through the self-referral program on Tuesday. I had my mammogram
on Thursday. The same week. I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of being
flattened and squeezed. I contemplated having pancakes for breakfast in honour
of the experience. We made it to the BC Women’s Hospital by noon. 10 minutes
later I was done. It was kind of anti-climactic.
Having a
mammogram is easier than:
Having a
baby;
Giving
blood;
Doing
your taxes;
Finding
a bathroom when you really need one;
Getting
a baby into a car seat for the first, second, and third time;
Wondering
whether you should have a mammogram;
Wondering
whether you have breast cancer.
Second
spousal conversation:
Me:
“…..and I think that we should try to ski in the Interior this spring.”
PH:
“What do you have to do for us to go away for a weekend? Tattoo the CBCF logo
on one of your boobs?”
Me:
“Would you have a problem with that?”
PH:
“Nope.”
Chelsea Caldwell is a partner at Eichler
Caldwell, Barristers & Solicitors, as well as a new mom, wife and
proud daughter. Chelsea has been a lawyer for 10 years, litigating cases at all
levels of court in British Columbia. She advocates for her clients vigorously
and thanks her mom, Judy Caldwell, for teaching her how to convince and
(gently) browbeat defendants with a smile. She has figured out how to feed a
baby and type at the same time and has a sticky laptop as a result.
